September 14
Return to the Île de Ré. A pure week. Sensation of a terrestrial paradise. Return to Paris, such a downfall! I roam the streets like someone under hallucination. What do I seek there? I feel separated from everything. Not a single point of contact with anyone. Ah! that pleasure on a beach of not wanting! One could escape from “life” there (I blush just using such a word).
Decidedly, I was not made to struggle among men. Suffering each instance. What progress I could make in a career of tears!
There is a bit of venom in me that nothing could tame or neutralize.